I Didn't Plan This

Project Description

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This project wasn’t planned.

I had rented a studio,

and I felt I had to leave something in that space,

so I called the people closest to me.

 

I used to plan everything,

telling myself, “This is how it should be.”

It always made my mind heavy,

so this time, I let things flow.

 

When they opened the studio door,

I got nervous.

The closer they were to me, the more I felt I had to do well,

as if I had to prove something.

 

I don’t like fabricated images,

but many of them tried to become who they thought they should be in front of the camera.

In those moments, I lowered my lens.

 

We talked.

We recalled light, funny memories,

and there were words we couldn’t say out loud.

Mostly, I captured their silent expressions.

 

As I edited the photos,

familiar faces started to look unfamiliar.

There were feelings left unsaid,

and distances that formed without being defined.

 

The words in the diptychs came after the photos.

Some memories were vivid,

some emotions, vague.

But in their faces remained the moments

that made me stronger, that helped me endure.

 

Maybe this wasn’t a record of me photographing them,

but of how they shaped me through time.

 

It wasn’t planned,

but it stayed.

And through their faces,

I came to see myself more clearly.